Authenticity is polarizing, and as you pursue your true self, you have to be authentic. But our success in the world is often dependent upon being liked by the majority and acceptable to everyone.
There has been so much discussion recently about authenticity and vulnerability. Moving to remote work with the pandemic gave us a taste of being closer to our true aligned selves because we could merge our “home” self with our “work” self. We had a collective awakening to our FULL selves. Additionally, we understand now that EVERYONE deserves equitable experience and treatment because ALL people are valuable and can contribute to the success of the whole.
But the fact remains that authenticity is polarizing. When I put myself out there as my authentic self, some people will resonate with me, and some people will not. When I speak my truth, some people will disagree. And regardless of how much we want to talk about authenticity, it is still not celebrated in a world that is dependent upon sameness, consistency, and not rocking the boat. The most successful people continue to be the people that look and act the most similar to whomever is in charge.
And honestly, our brains are wired to behave this way, which is why it takes a LOT of effort to behave differently. Our biological evolution drives us to stick with our “tribe”. In human history, we have not been incentivized to celebrate, honor, and invite in our differences.
In my personal journey, I have really struggled with authenticity because I want so badly to be liked. On one hand, I want to embrace my weirdness, my proclivity to say the thing no one else will say, to dance in unexpected situations, to only get my hair cut every couple of years. But on the other hand, I am socialized to conform. And it is a hell of a lot more comfortable to conform.
So I’d like to pause and celebrate authenticity. Our human experience is made beautiful by experiencing our authentic selves, and in being seen by others, and in others holding space for us to expand into our trueness. We are our best when we:
- Can express our sexuality, our relationship to our bodies and the way we choose to love
- Can express our beautiful connection to our lineage and our ancestors, finding a sense of “home” and connection in a world where we are so disconnected
- Can express the way we experience spirituality and understand our place in the vastness of the universe
- Can express ourselves in the way our family of origin taught us to communicate and interact with the people we care about
- Can seek our true purpose in life and vocation because we want to be in alignment with our personal mission
In order to truly live your truth, you have to have the courage to be authentic. And if you have the courage to be authentic, and it’s a personal value of yours to live your truth, then you have to know that there will be people who disagree with you and judge you. It’s ok to get comfortable with that. It’s equally important to get comfortable with other people’s authenticity. Everyone’s authenticity will look different from yours. So, make space for both yourself and other people to really BE.